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为什么不管多大年纪,你的人生都需要新鲜事

发布时间:2023-06-15 13:33:07来源:


In 2018, I had what I call a powerful first experience.

2018 年,我有了一个震撼的第一次。

At 31 years old, I made my first snow angel.

在我 31 岁的时候,我第一次做了雪天使图案。

Now, that may not sound powerful to some of you, but for me, it was.

也许这对有些人来说没什么大不了的,但对我来说,意义重大。

And so how do you get from New York City to Montana?

你怎么从纽约去蒙大拿?

Well, you have to have a horse.

好吧,你得先有匹马。

I don't make the rules, but not having a horse is why so many people don't make it out there.

这可不是我乱编的,但没有马正是 很多人去不了那里的原因。

I'm kidding.

开个玩笑。

I was actually invited to attend and speak at a conference in Big Sky.

我曾受邀参与一场位于大天空市 (Big Sky)的会议并发言,

I'm a kid from the Bronx, so I knew nothing about Big Sky.

我是个来自纽约布朗克斯区的小孩,所以我对大天空一无所知。

I knew nothing about Montana.

我对蒙大拿州一无所知。

In fact, I had only recognized images similar to it as the screen saver that comes on whenever my MacBook goes idle.

其实我只在我的苹果电脑空闲时跳出来的屏保上看到过类似的图片。

I landed in Bozeman and the first thing I did was thank God, because I don't like flying, even though I have to do it often.

我落地博兹曼市(Bozeman)后,做的第一件事就是感谢上帝,因为我不喜欢乘飞机,虽然我总是得乘飞机。

I walked out of the airport and I saw no skyscrapers, no lines and cabs, no people yelling and arguing,

我走出机场,没有看到摩天大楼,没有地铁、出租车,没有大声争吵、大喊大叫的人,

and there were no funny smells that I was familiar with.

也没有我熟悉的怪味。

You know, all of the things that make NYC amazing.

没有纽约的这些神奇之处。

So fast forward, I'm in the passenger seat of the car and I'm looking out the window and I'm just taking on the views.

再然后,我坐在汽车的后排,看着窗外,真的就是在充分欣赏美景。

Mountains covered in snow, trees everywhere.

山上覆盖着白雪,树木丛生。

And at one point we pass by these homes that had to be worth millions of dollars because they had the most beautiful view of the environment.

某一刻,我们途径了一些 “价值连城”的房子, 因为它们坐拥最美的风景。

Later the next day, as I'm getting off stage from speaking, a woman comes up to me and she asks, "Would you like to go on a hike?"

第二天,我发完言走下台后,一位女士走到我面前,问:“你想不想来个徒步旅行?”

Now I'm from New York City, so a hike is a few city blocks.

我来自纽约,所以徒步旅行对我而言顶多是走几个街区。

New York City is at sea level, so we're talking about real oxygen.

纽约地处海平面,所以我们现在是真有氧气。

So, no, this was a hike.

不,这可是场徒步旅行。

And at 8,000 feet elevation, one quickly realizes Montana's oxygen just isn't real.

等你到了海拔 8000 英尺,你就知道蒙大拿可不是真有氧气。

(Laughter)

(众笑)

Midway through our hike, I can't remember what I said, but the woman grabs a fistful of snow, puts it in her mouth and she starts to chew.

徒步途中, 我不记得我说了些什么,但这位女士抓起了一捧雪,放进了嘴里,开始咀嚼。

And my initial thought was, "That was disgusting." I would never touch anything that touches a New York City street.

我的第一反应是:“太恶心了吧。” 我可不想碰任何碰过纽约路面的东西。

But then I realized this was snow from Montana, and this was symbolic of the relationships Montanans have with their environment.

但我突然意识到这是蒙大拿的雪啊,这是蒙大拿人和环境之间关系的象征。

So towards the end of the hike, this woman lays down in a bed of snow and she moves her body in a way where [it] registers to me,

徒步旅行接近尾声时,这位女士躺在雪床上,以一种我能感觉到的方式移动她的身体,

she's making a snow angel.

她在堆雪天使。

So after about 30 seconds, I decide to mimic.

大约 30 秒后,我打算模仿她。

And so I lay in this fresh bed of snow in Montana, I move my arms and my legs.

我躺在了蒙大拿刚下的雪地上,动起了我的手臂和腿,

And then it dawns on me.

我恍然大悟,

I'm making a snow angel for the first time.

这是我第一次做雪天使。

And of course, I've seen other people do it and I've seen it on television before.

当然,我看过别人这么做,之前也在电视上看到过。

But it was the first time I did it.

但这是我第一次这样做。

You see, I've coined the term powerful first experiences or PFEs as doing something you never thought you would do for the first time,

我自创了“震撼的第一次” 或者 PFE 这个词,意思是做那些你从未想过要做的事,

in a place that you never thought you would be in for the first time.

在你从未想过会做这件事的地方。

The main reason why I was in Montana in the first place was to give a talk about powerful first experiences,

我到蒙大拿的主要原因本来就是要做一场关于“震撼的第一次”的演讲,

so it was only right that I would then have powerful first experiences in Montana.

因此,我在蒙大拿州的第一次经历是很有意义的。

Powerful first experiences are life-altering moments and experiences that change the way that we see ourselves and changes the way we see the world.

震撼的第一次是改变人生的瞬间和经历,改变了我们看待自己的方式,改变了我们看待世界的方式。

And it can be as expansive as skydiving out of a plane in France or as small as visiting a lake to meditate for the first time.

可以像在法国极限跳伞 这么大型的经历,也可以像第一次前往一个湖泊冥想这么微不足道。

What matters is your imagination, your courage and your curiosity.

重要的是你的想象力、勇气和好奇心。

In the book "Power of Moments" by Chip and Dan Heath, the authors reference what psychologists call the reminiscence bump,

在奇普和丹·希思的《时刻的力量》一书中,作者引用了心理学家所称的“记忆隆起”,

a phenomenon where older individuals are asked to think about their experiences,

即在要求老年人回忆以往经历时,

where they tend to disproportionately talk about the experiences that happened roughly between the ages of 15 to 30.

他们会滔滔不绝地谈论他们 15 至 30 岁左右的经历。

Some researchers say this is a time in our lives when we experience the most novelty.

有些研究者称,这段时间是我们人生中经历最多新奇事物的时候。

And there's a few theories why.

有几种理论可以解释其中的原因。

One, when you enter and pass through your 30s, life can seem like it speeds up because we develop the habits of doing the same things over and over.

一个原因是,当你走进 30 岁, 度过了三十多岁的人生,就会感觉人生加速了,因为我们形成了一遍又一遍地 做同一件事的习惯。

Another reason is that there are just some experiences in our lives that are set to happen within that time frame.

另一个原因是人生中就是有一些事 只会在那段时间里发生。

So think about it.

想一想。

By 15, you might be in high school.

到了15岁,你在读高中。

By 18, you may be in college.

到18岁时,你在读大学。

After college, you get a job, you may buy the big home, you may get married, you may have a kid.

读完了大学,你找了份工作,买座大房子,结婚,生个娃。

And then you might experience loss or grief.

然后你会经历失去和伤痛。

And then you enter your 30s and that's it.

然后到了 30 岁,全剧终。

No more powerful first experiences and life repeats itself over and over.

再也没有震撼的第一次,生活一次又一次地反复上演。

Something about that seems so unfulfilling.

这种感觉太没意思了。

Now imagine if you were a kid from a community like the Bronx.

想象一下你是一个布朗克斯之类的社区里的小孩。

While the Bronx offers amazing experiences, by the time you turn 14 or 15,

虽然布朗克斯确实会给你留下一些神奇的经历,但是等你到了 14 或 15 岁,

you can feel like you've experienced all the powerful first experiences in that environment.

你就会感觉你已经经历过这个环境中所有震撼的第一次了。

And so I became obsessed with figuring out how to give more powerful first experiences to others.

我很想知道 如何为他人带来更多的 震撼的第一次。

My organization, Gentlemen's Retreat, focuses on young men of color from the inner city who end up going to top colleges and universities,

我的组织“绅士的静修” (Gentlemen’s Retreat) 主要关注内陆城市的有色人种,他们最终在顶尖大学院校就读,

such as Brown University.

比如布朗大学。

These young men are gifted and they're special.

这些年轻人很有天赋,他们很特别。

They just felt they experienced everything their community had to offer.

他们感觉自己已经经历过他们的社区可以提供的所有事了。

We call these young men Gs for gentlemen.

我们称这些年轻人为“G”, 代表“绅士”(Gentlemen)。

And while working with these gentlemen and giving them powerful first experiences, I realized it was shaping their identities in a positive way,

和这些绅士合作,给他们带来震撼的第一次, 我发现这种方式正以积极的方式塑造着他们的身份,

but it was also increasing their cultural and their social capital.

同时也在增加他们的文化和社会资本。

An individual has cultural capital because of the environment that they come from.

人们的文化资本来源于他们出身的环境。

The knowledge, skills and belief of that environment can be seen as capital or an asset.

关于这个环境的知识、 技能和信仰 都可以被视为资本或资产。

And having the combination allows an individual to have economic advantages and other advantages.

有了这些, 这个人就有了经济上的优势和其他优势。

And when you collect powerful first experiences, you're collecting cultural capital from different environments.

如果你去积累震撼的第一次,你就积累了来自不同环境的文化资本。

Social capital is a set of shared values and resources that allows individuals to come together to achieve a common goal.

社会资本指的是一些共享的价值和资源,让人们可以齐心协力达成一个共同的目标。

It can also be thought of as the ability to access resources and favors and information from your network.

也可以将其想象成从你的社交网络中获取资源、帮助和信息的能力。

Countless connections are fostered when the gentlemen develop intimate relationships in places such as Paris, London and even Montana.

随着这些绅士在巴黎、伦敦,甚至是蒙大拿发展了亲密关系,就建立起了无数联结。

As they spend time with locals, entrepreneurs and even venture capitalists.

他们和当地人、企业家,甚至是风投共度了时光。 

They develop a more expansive network and idea of the world.

他们形成了更宽广的世界网络和全球视野。

And increasing cultural and social capital doesn't just benefit the gentlemen, it also benefits the communities that they bless with their presence.

增加文化和社会资本不仅仅会为绅士们带来好处,还会让他们出身的社区受益。

And a powerful first experience changes the way you see yourself and the way you see the world.

震撼的第一次会改变你看待自己和世界的方式。

Going to Big sky changed the way that I saw the world, the way that I saw myself and what I wanted to do in the world.

前往大天空的旅途改变了我看待世界的方式、 我看待自己的方式和我想在这世上做些什么事。

Instead of waiting for my cycle of experiences to repeat themselves, doing the same things over and over,

我没有坐等我的人生循环一次又一次地上演, 一遍又一遍地做同样的事情,

I decided to go out into the world and collect powerful first experiences.

而是走向世界,积累震撼的第一次。

And a powerful first experience can be anything.

震撼的第一次可以是任何事。

It's all about intention.

你的意愿才是最重要的。

The most important part of a powerful first experience or a PFE, is intention.

震撼的第一次,或 PFE 最重要的部分就是意愿。 

Anyone can have them.

任何人都可以拥有它们。

You don't have to have capital or have started an organization.

你不必拥有资本或开了一家公司。

You don't even have to be a G.

你甚至不需要是一个高手。

You just have to be thoughtful about two things.

你只需要深思熟虑两件事。

One, do something you haven't done but have always wanted to do.

第一,做你没做过,但一直想做的事。

And what's important here, no matter what you choose to do -- skydiving out of a plane, learning a new language,

关键是无论你选择要做什么事—— 极限跳伞、 学习一门新语言、

switching your wardrobe -- whatever you decide to do, has to have a certain level of risk in it for you.

把衣柜里的衣服都换掉,无论你想做什么, 都得对你来说有一定的风险。

It's about courage.

这关乎勇气。

The courage to get on a plane and go to a state where most people don't look like me in order to experience something as simple as making a snow angel.

踏上飞机的勇气,前往一个大家都和我长得不一样的地区的勇气,只是为了体验 做雪天使这么简单的事。

Second thing, switch up your environment, change the stimuli and please try to be bold.

第二,换一个环境,换一个让你感到刺激的东西,大胆去做吧。

So you may be a singer, but maybe you sing on a crowded train in New York City or in the beautiful streets of Venice, Italy.

也许你是个歌手,你可以在纽约拥挤的地铁上歌唱,也可以在意大利威尼斯美丽的街道上歌唱。

Imagine what the world would be like if we decided to share and exchange in more powerful first experiences.

想象一下这样的世界, 我们都愿意分享、交换 更多震撼的第一次。

Would we feel more loved?

我们会感到更友爱吗?

Would we feel more connected?

我们会感觉到更紧密的联系?

Would we feel more brave?

我们会感到更勇敢吗?

Most importantly, would we feel more human?

最重要的是,我们会感觉更有人情味吗?

Each and every one of us has so much to experience if we allow ourselves the gift of another powerful first experience.

我们每个人,都有那么多等待我们去尝试的经历,只要我们愿意给自己一个机会体验另一个震撼的第一次。

My only ask, if you decide to go to Montana for the first time, please don't forget your horse.

我唯一的请求就是,如果你是第一次前往蒙大拿,别忘了带上你的马。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(责编: admin)

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